This post is a part of the How to Find a Therapist for Your Child series. Finding a therapist and getting support in school are two important steps to supporting your child or teen when they are struggling.
If your child is struggling at school because of anxiety, depression, or another mental health challenge, there are formal support systems available to help. Here’s a primer on what parents need to know about 504 plans and IEPs, including how they’re different, what the process looks like, and how to get started.
For a lot of parents, changes to how a child is doing in school, whether academically or socially, is where they first see changes with their child or teen.
Grades slip without a clear reason. A kid who used to have a full social life starts pulling away from friends. The athlete who loves their sport suddenly wants to quit. A teacher sends an email about behavior that seems to come out of nowhere. They refuse to go to school altogether. These are the moments that parents start to see as red flags that make them wonder what might be going on with their child. For us, it was a combination of the things mentioned above. The gradual compounding of these things led to one of the hardest periods in our journey. We went from wondering what was going on to realizing that we needed help fast.
Sometimes the changes at school are the first visible sign that your child may be struggling with anxiety, depression, or some other challenge. And when combined with what is going on at home, parents often decide to seek support for their child. Getting into therapy and working toward understanding what’s happening is often the first step, and I have written about that extensively in this series. But once there is a diagnosis or a therapist who can document what they’re seeing, there are opportunities to circle back to the school for more support.
I think that most parents have probably heard the term IEP (Individualized Education Plan) even if they are not really sure what it stands for or how it works. Fewer parents have probably heard of a 504 plan. And while some parents may know that these kinds of school supports are available for kids with learning challenges like dyslexia, speech or language impairments, autism, or other chronic conditions, probably even fewer parents realize that these school support plans are available to kids whose mental health is impacting their ability to learn at school. This post is about what those pathways are, how they work, and how to start the conversation.
I want to be clear that the field of special education law (and both 504 and IEPs are legal agreements) is complex. I am not a special education specialist, and nothing here is legal advice. However, I want to offer enough so you know what questions to ask and what resources may be available.
The Two Pathways: 504 Plans and IEPs
There are two main formal support structures in public schools. Both are grounded in federal law, which means the basic framework applies everywhere in the United States. However, many states and individual districts layer their own procedures on top, so things might look slightly different where your child goes to school. This also applies primarily to public schools. If your child is in a private school, these same rules may or may not apply.
A 504 plan provides accommodations to a student without changing what they’re expected to learn. Accommodations vary, but at a high level, they are changes in how your child accesses their education. Common examples for children with mental health challenges include extended time on tests, a quiet testing environment, scheduled breaks, flexible attendance policies, or a designated check-in person at school. To qualify, a child must have a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits a major life activity like concentrating, learning, managing behavior, or even sleeping. Anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions can and do qualify, and the eligibility bar is broader than most parents expect.
An IEP goes a step further. It provides not just accommodations, but specialized instruction and services tailored to your child’s specific needs. The process to obtain an IEP is more complex and requires more documentation than a 504, but it also results in more support for your child.
A useful way to think about it: a 504 changes how your child accesses education. An IEP changes what education looks like for them. It depends entirely on what your child needs, and neither one is necessarily better than the other. Many families start with a 504 and may or may not need an IEP. For us, we jumped right into an IEP given what we were experiencing, and then, over the years, as things improved, transitioned into a 504. So you can move in either direction.
The Most Important Thing Most Parents Don’t Know
You need to ask for this support, and how you ask for them matters.
A verbal conversation with a teacher or counselor is a starting point, but it doesn’t start any formal process. A written request does.
Under the federal law governing special education, called IDEA, once a school receives your written request for an IEP evaluation, a formal timeline begins. The school must respond in writing, and if they agree to evaluate your child, they have 60 days to complete the evaluation. Some states have shorter timelines.
Your request doesn’t need to sound legal or formal. A simple email works. Something like:
“I am writing to formally request an evaluation of my child, [name], for special education services. I am concerned that they may have a disability that is affecting their ability to access their education. Please let me know the next steps and the timeline for this process.”
Send it by email so you have a record. That email starts the clock. You can send it to your school principal and/or the special education coordinator or director at your school. Be sure to include a clear subject line like “Request for IEP Evaluation – child’s name.”
Honestly, our own process did not follow a clean sequence, and I suspect that is not unusual. There were assessments that we arranged on our own, testing the school conducted, an advocate who came in and helped us make sense of what we were being told, and what to ask for next. It was messier than I expected, and it was many years ago now, but what I remember most is how much it helped to have someone in the room who knew how this worked. So if you are feeling lost, and you have the resources to bring in someone who knows the system and can serve as an advocate, it might be worth looking into. More on that below.
Expect This to Take Time
From your written request to having an IEP actually in place, the realistic timeline, assuming everything moves without delays, is typically three to four months. School calendar breaks, outside evaluations, or any disagreement along the way can stretch it further.
I wish someone had told me this upfront. If you’re watching your child struggle right now, three to four months feels like a very long time, and it is. Which is why I encourage parents to start this process as early as possible if you think you may want to get this kind of support. While you wait, you can continue to pursue support through your child’s therapist and school counselor. Don’t put everything on hold waiting for the IEP.
For 504 plans, the process generally moves faster. The 504 process doesn’t have the same federal timeline requirements that govern IEPs. In fact, there’s no specific federal timeline for 504 evaluations at all. Schools are expected to act within a reasonable time, but what that means varies by district. The 504 process typically relies more on documentation you already have, and not on the school conducting its own formal assessment. That’s part of why it tends to move faster, and also why what you bring to the table in terms of documentation matters. Ask your school for their internal 504 policies, so you know what timeline to expect in your district.
What a 504 Evaluation Actually Looks Like
Because the evaluation processes for these two pathways are so different, it’s worth saying a word about what a 504 evaluation typically involves. Unlike the formal, multi-part assessment that an IEP requires, the 504 process is less standardized. Schools can draw on existing records, teacher observations, and documentation you provide, rather than conducting formal testing themselves.
This means that a letter from your child’s therapist or psychiatrist that explicitly connects their diagnosis to how it affects their ability to learn or function at school can carry a lot of weight. The link to the educational impact of your child’s diagnosis needs to be spelled out. If your child’s provider can describe specifically how anxiety affects their ability to concentrate in class, complete work under time pressure, or manage transitions during the school day, that kind of documentation gives the school what it needs to act.
How to Approach the School Conversation
Most parents go into these kinds of school meetings feeling like they’re asking for a favor, but these are legal frameworks designed to ensure your child has equal access to education.
That said, from my experience, a collaborative approach almost always works better than an adversarial one, especially at the start. Framing the conversation around your child’s needs rather than the school’s obligations tends to open more doors. Something like: “My child is working with a therapist, and we’re concerned that their anxiety is affecting their ability to keep up at school. I’d like to understand what supports might be available.” That tone invites problem-solving rather than defensiveness.
I cannot say this enough: keep records of everything (e.g., emails, meeting notes, the date and content of any verbal conversations). If you hit a wall, your state’s Parent Training and Information Center (parentcenterhub.org) offers free guidance and can connect you with advocacy resources. Every state has one.
If you know your child is struggling, and it is impacting their education, the most important thing is not to wait for the school to offer support. Ask.
Getting Help with This Process
I’ll be honest about something: this time was one of the hardest parts of our whole journey. Not because the school was adversarial; on the contrary, they were incredibly supportive. But because we were overwhelmed and school refusal was impacting every area of our lives. We also didn’t know what we didn’t know, and we felt like we had no idea what we were doing or what we could expect from the school.
We eventually hired a special education advocate, and it changed everything. She knew the process, knew the right questions to ask, and knew the school and district staff. She made sure that the right people, who could make decisions without having to run things back up the chain, were in the room from the start. What might have taken longer got resolved faster because she knew what to ask for and how to move things along.
If you’re feeling lost in this process and don’t know what you are agreeing to in meetings or what questions you should be asking, an advocate is worth looking into. You don’t have to be in a dispute with the school to benefit from having someone in your corner who understands how this works. Your child’s therapist or psychiatrist may be able to recommend someone local. Your state’s Parent Training and Information Center (parentcenterhub.org) can also provide you with some options and resources.
There’s More to Navigate from Here
This is genuinely one of the more complicated parts of the process, and this post is only the starting point. There’s a lot this overview doesn’t cover. If you want a more detailed walkthrough of this process, it’s covered in more depth in the Together We Navigate Therapy Guide I will be releasing soon. Written from the perspective of a parent who has been through it. You can also check out the resources at the Center for Parent Information & Resources, and Wrightslaw, as well as ask your local school system for their specific procedures.
Don’t be afraid to be an advocate for your child in the schools. It can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, but there are people and resources that can help you through it.
You’re not alone.
Laurie
If you are starting with school support, but decide that you may need additional support outside of the school, check out my series on finding a therapist for your child or teen. These resources are intertwined and help to provide your child with support inside and outside of school.
Laurie Hinnant is a parent who spent years navigating the professional support system for her family, and found it far more confusing, inconsistent, and exhausting than it needed to be. She founded Together We Navigate to give other parents the real-talk guidance she wished she’d had. She also holds a PhD in Community Psychology and brings 25 years of health research experience to everything she writes, but she writes here as a parent first.